Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
