SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
