Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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