She announced her abortion via fbk
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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