He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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