Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
