I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
