We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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