My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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