This girl is more easily done than said...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize