everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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