so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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