i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
and you fell through a lawn chair
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
