Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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