And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
