The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
