Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
