So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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