thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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