Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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