also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize