When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have already put on my inside pants.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
