I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
