i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
