Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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