thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
