Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
