Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

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(757): View more from Virginia

this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.

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(289): View more from Ontario

he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose

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(213): View more from California

Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.

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