Christians are straight up FREAKS
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.