i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.