I just cut my nipple shaving
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"