if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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Boobs speak an international language.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for