Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?