Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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