How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
