Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize