Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
