I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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