I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
