so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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