apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
