margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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