Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's always time for handjobs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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