so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
