just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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