Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
