i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
