O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wear drunk well.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize