I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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