used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
