that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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