I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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