Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
