My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
