do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
