If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?