If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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