Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
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like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize