Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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