just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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