Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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