You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
