His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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