She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
3pm strippers are depressing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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