i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
