ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
