Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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