One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can I color on your dick again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think my moral compass just broke
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
