either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
