Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
