u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
